Sample Conversations

Conversation 1 – Thankfulness

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.
-Proverbs 18:22

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
-I Thessalonians 5:18

From Couples . . .

“My husband gives me a sense of security. I love it when he shows me he has been thinking of me.”

“My wife keeps things interesting in our marriage. Our personality differences keep a variety of activities in our marriage.”

Questions for Couple Sharing

  • How did you and your spouse meet?
  • What are some special stories about your marriage proposal, engagement, wedding plans, and wedding day?
  • What couples have been good examples for you of happy marriages? What have you liked about these marriages?
  • How have you been blessed by your marriage?
  • What are some traits of your mate for which you are thankful?
  • What compliments do you give to your spouse?
  • How are you different from one another? How do these differences provide strength in your relationship?

A Step Beyond the Mentoring Conversation

Do something each day to express love, appreciation, or gratitude to each other. Notice what you do that seems the most meaningful or gives the most pleasure to your spouse. Give love in the way that your spouse likes to be loved. Different languages of love include: notes, talking, gifts, quality time, acts of kindness or service, words of affirmation, compliments, email, bragging on your spouse to others, playfulness, hugs, kisses, and touch. What are your spouse’s preferences? What are your preferences? Talk about your similarities and differences. From the list above try to guess what your spouse’s top two love languages are.

Conversation 2 – Healthy Marriage Habits

Do to others, as you would have them do to you.
-Luke 6:31

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
-I Corinthians 13:4-7

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
-Galatians 5:23

From Couples . . .

“I know my husband better than anyone else. I know what he likes and love it when I see that twinkle in his eyes and smile on his face.”

“I have found that the golden rule is great, but my wife does not always feel loved when I treat her as I want to be treated. I have learned to love her in ways that she wants.”

Questions for Couple Sharing

  • How do you show your love for each other in little ways and big ways?
  • How do you divide tasks and household chores?
  • Do you have an endearing term or “pet name” for your spouse?
  • Is there a personality difference in your spouse you have learned to respect and affirm?
  • How often do you say or demonstrate, “I love you!”? What are some examples?
  • What was one of your favorite dating or wedding anniversary celebrations?
  • What was one of your favorite birthday, graduation, or promotion celebrations?

A Step Beyond the Mentoring Conversation

Make a list of five special things your spouse has done for you. Share your lists with each other and do at least one of the things on the other’s list before the next mentoring conversation. An option would be to share three things you would like for your spouse to do for you that are ways of demonstrating love to you.

Help your spouse by giving him or her a positive target to aim for. . . “I really like it when you __________________________.”

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